Fire and Gasoline.

So there is a boy ... what a shocker there. i know right im pathetic!  Anyways we have a bit of a history. I dated him or i guess you could call it dating several years back and ever since then i still get nervous when i see him. well lately he has been coming to my house to say hey and we laugh and chat and stuff. And its so aggrivating because literally everytime we start to be friends again i cant help but fall for him. he is annoying and immature but something about our past draws me to him. Its like he is my addiction or something. We have tried to make it work several times before, but we always get distracted. I always thought he would be my first kiss, and that didnt happen. I always thought that one day we would make it work, and that hasnt happened. I dont know what it is about him, we only dated for like two months in eighth grade and we barely ever saw each other, so someone please explain to me why everytime i hang out with him i get butterflies in my stomach, i get jealous when he talks about other girls, and i always feel like there is a piece of me that will always like him.

" Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow.Were like fire and gasoline, im no good for you, your no good for me. We only bring each each other tears and sorrow, but tonight im gunna love you like theres no tomorrow."

A lot of times i simply wonder why i feel so strongly about him. Why is it that my heart will always have a little speical place for him. Is it because he was my "first boyfriend" because my first kiss is not that special to me at all. This boy always messes with my head and my best friend almost automatically expects me to say i like him again just a soon as he falls back into my life. The reasons why we dont work is a totaly different story. But i just want to know if i should give into my temptation and go through the roller coaster of emotions which only ends up in failure again. Or just leave my heart yearning to find out "what if?"

Sometimes i leave this world more confused then not....

<3 Little Michelle