Blast From My Past

Hmm found some old stuff i wrote in eigth grade and freshman year. Thought i should put them up here for safe keeping <3

1.)The Stripes…

Its strikes me, once again... down the stripes fall from the rebound of the hit.

But no matter, its up again watching

                                                            waiting

                                                           

                                                                   ... possibly hurting.

Im curious, as to what move it will make next. Pain? Love? What flush will come over my head and pump through my vains. The care from my head is not strong but my heart ACHES to be hit again. The way the stripes hits again and again.. tickles my stomach, but why?

    Why do this. if in the end      it knows it will fall? Is it worth the pride that much to accept the hurt if any? Did i misjudge? I think not.. i can tell , i know the stripe it hurts, its in pain and i am with it. Always, i find myself thinking

                            wondering.. if behind closed doors it glances upon my face. REGRETS!  im already having these rats scurring in my mind of things i wanted to do,'n say. But everyone thinks otherwise, i hide the way i feel, no one knows whats really going on, BEHIND MY HEAD.

  Enough. Simply enough, this pain, this constant shock and wonder. Bet, that this is the last time I will ever concentrate  so much on such a simple thought. Angry.. im boiling now! I want things to be my way, I want to be the end, where im in control where its my choice. From now on im not a TOY.  I will no longer be tossed around

                                                              Tortured 

                                                                       Beaten.  Im done

Lying, now im lying to myself, this happened, nothing changing, the stripes are giving up, defeated.. and now

                ALL I SEE IS STRIPES…</3

2.)I don’t know you anymore

Im tugged. Im Torn.

Caught between the right and the want.

I know of the pain that’s expected to come..picking up right were u dropped me off

Threw me down. In denal

For the longest time. Come to relize the brokenness inside me.

Kept inside is a piece, scribbled with ur name..and im begging to erase it

Who do you think you are?

Strickley based on the outside..u se what u want

But what if what I want if from deeper within?

Warmth. Protection. Shelter.

Someone to love me 2?

Too much to ask you say..

Who do u think you are?

Just to glance there is simply something I cant bear.

So take me down let me tear

Set me free let me be

Remove my scar

Who the hell do u think u are?

Well enjoy those.. its funny there both about the same boy.. awkward much?

the movie life

So lately i have been realy into movies. especially the old timey romance ones. like the classics.
While u were sleeping, moulin rouge, pretty woman, the notebook.. and somehow is never seses to amaze me how the movie seems so real and yet everything seems so perfect. how in the end everything magically seems to work out. there is always a promblem to overcome and of course theres those tear jerkers but hey it almost always has a perfect happy ending. and so i have adapted a love hate relatiionship for them because even though i love living in this fantasy world of happiness and romance but at the sam time i hate to bring that fantasy world into my real life only to be dissapointed.
like for last night for example. i have a major crush on this one boy and yet he has a even kajor crush on one of my good friends who happens to like him to.  he has totally friendzoned me and i keep thinking my life is like a romantic comedy where really the jokes on me and he has liked me all along. but in the end i wont get what i want and i wont and my ending wont all magically work out in the end, so i try to stop myself now before i get even more hurt

...xoxo Thanks for listening
<3 Michelle

Rough times

So i met this guy, and i have a crush on him i think, and we have gotten to be really good friends but just when im starting to think he likes me to he starts teling me about this other girls he really likes and its just super hurtful. ugh i just needed to vent, i mean were practically made for eacho ther, im not really one for letting my guard down or acting completely myself around guys but with him idk i feel like i can be myself. haha oh well its just high school huh? and i feel like people are being way to serious way to fast. but thats a different story :)