fake Confidence?.. no problem.. except
For some reason lately my cofidence is at an all time low and im finding myself to just be very unhappy. I feel like even though i have tons of support from my friends i feel like i look around myself and feel nothing. im not confident in the way i dress or the way i look. Lately i have been even feeling really ugly and unwanted. i look around me and feel like everyone has a special someone except for me. i guess i just havent been realizing how lucky i am and am always craving more, but its so unlike me to be living in such unhappyness especially without confidence at all. I find that im breaking down much easier and i let things bother me that normally wouldnt bother me. i feel weak and just totally not myself.
I feel like all this started the week before homecoming and from then on it just got worse and worse. Im beginging to wonder if sophmore year was just to good to be true and junior year is just going to be like the relapse or fall back from such a great summer. i need something to keep my focus on because lately i have just kinda found myself floating.. and i dont like it. i atleast need to have some reason to believe that there is hope that things are gunna get better and that this was just another one of michelles months from hell.
im not sure i know how to live without confidence regardless of whether its fake or not. and i need to jumo back into my special place because right now.. i dont even know who i am.
I want to believe in it all again..music and art...fate and love, and I want to believe that I've made the right choices, and I'm still on the right path, and there's still time to fix some mistakes I've made....I guess I want hope
xoxo Michelle
