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| "don't know where I'd be Without you here with me Life with you makes perfect sense You're my best friend You're my best friend, oh yeah" |
All of us have that one best friend. I have been best friends with mine since i was in third grade. LITERALLY. Sure i mean we have had our fights but for the past couple of years at high school we really havent been fighting at all we just kinda let stuff blow over because we relized that the little stuff really are not inportant and we only have a short amount of time left before we will most likely end up going are seperate ways. I guess this never really hit me until this year. Its about the time for everyone to do there junior reviews, a major step in our preperation for college. While everyone else is excited and overwhelmed with the unknowing and the future, im terrifed of fighting through the world without my very best friend at my side. So often lately i have felt like she has been slipping through my fingers and i try so hard not to focus on the little time we have left together and more on the great memories i know were going to have.
I have never once met someone who is more my best friend then she is though. When im a spaz, she isnt. When shes a spaz, im not. Im the adventurous one, and she the one whom ive always looked up to and wanted to be. Shes my good example, my mom, and my sister. Im scared of what life will be like without having her to watch my back and look out for me , correcting my mistakes. Too often i joke that she is my "mom" but i think thats what i love most about her. She cares about me, she is there for me when i need her, and i never have to worry about her leaving me behind.
I never really talk about how scared i am to lose her with anyone , because honestly it simply feels silly. We still have a year left right? And even in the worst case scenario its not like i will loose her forever and ever amen. So why am i so worried? am i really that dependent on this friendship i have had since a child , or is it just a deeper fear of the changed life i will have without her. Worst of all, what if im scared about the fact that she will replace me, or maybe ill replace her.
We always joke about how were going to be old grandmas hitting on young men, but what if we grow apart and forget each other? what if two years down the road in college i wont even remember her name?
and i think thats what scares me the most... the fear of not knowing..
you know i wont survive without you...</3
